The "I" in choice

Historians, as you probably know, are prone to fight at the drop of a three-cornered hat. Just mention the Strong Man Theory, for instance, and you’re likely to see a headlock here, an eye jab there. Before long, medieval curses will be flying, and enough tweed will be ripped to make James Lipton wince. Still, even after all the bloodshed, one faction will insist that history is driven by extraordinary individuals acting on personal agendas. And their opponents will refuse to budge from the conviction that circumstances, not strong men or women, are what change the path of human development.

So, please, if you’re holding a kegger this weekend for that rowdy bunch from Elizabethan Studies, do not mention the latest initiatives from Starbucks or Danny Meyer.

After all, USA Today’s exclusive on Starbucks’ latest menu overhaul left little doubt the chain is adopting more healthful choices because of developments in the life of CEO Howard Schultz. The article recounted how Schultz discovered during a physical that his cholesterol was too high and that he needed to pursue a more healthful lifestyle. He changed his ways, the story noted. And, at virtually the same time, so did Starbucks. First it rolled out its new healthful smoothie line. Then, Schultz disclosed to USA Today’s Bruce Horovitz, it drafted the new reduced-fat, higher-fiber breakfast array that’ll be introduced on Tuesday.

A coincidence? Ask anyone historian with a well-thumbed copy of “Julius Caesar: The Early Years” on his or desk.

Then there’s the new diversification by Danny Meyer’s Union Square Hospitality Group. The operator of such fine-dining shrines as Gramercy Tavern and Union Square Café is planning to open restaurants in the Mets’ new stadium, Citi Field, when it opens in Flushing, Queens, next year. Nation’s Restaurant News broke the story after speaking with Meyer, who acknowledged that this is more than a cold, calculated business decision. “We think Citi Field is a great opportunity in which to parlay our love of sports and launch a new division,” he told NRN’s Elissa Elan.

Clearly, neither businessman is stepping outside himself to look with complete detachment at possible new directions for their businesses. Yet both have repeatedly demonstrated they’re no Dan Quayle when it comes to spelling out opportunity. These are some of the most respected figures in the business, if not American commerce. Does that mean those of us yet to climb Mr. Olympus should consider a little more Yoda and a little less Peter Drucker? Should we indeed yield a little more to The Force we feel?

The record is at best murky. In the late 1980s, a businessman named Victor Kiam decided he really appreciated a certain type of electric shaver. “I like it so much I bought the company,” he famously told consumers in a long-running TV campaign for Remington razors. That bit of strongman business savvy worked well for Kiam; he would grow the company and remain its chairman until his death in 2001.

But personal preference also led him to buy the New England Patriots football team. It was a financial disaster for him.

Less ambiguous are the bankruptcy notices for restaurant and after restaurant that were opened because the entrepreneur liked the idea of being in that business, or really enjoyed cooking, or loved hanging out in star-studded establishments. Ego equaled disaster in those instances.

Of course, those decisions were often based solely on bias, not on business sense. Schultz and Meyer probably couldn’t have suspended their commercial intuition if they had wanted to do so.

So my bet is they’ve made good decisions, even if each choice may have been more influenced by personal criteria than other moves they’ve made.

We’ll certainly see. Perhaps starting on Tuesday.

Foul pitch

I wish I’d been at Fenway Park last night, an admission that’s not easy for a Yankee fan to spit out. But at least I could’ve watched the game without having to retch through the worst baseball sell-out since the Black Sox Scandal of 1919. If you caught Taco Bell’s painfully strained promotion during Fox’s broadcast of the game, you’ll sympathize completely. Normally I’d rather tongue-kiss David Ortiz than set foot in a gloating Red Sox Nation during a World Series. But I’ll take Schilling over that sort of shilling any day of the baseball calendar.

Here’s what happened: With the Red Sox ahead by just one run, the heart of the Rockies’ lineup was coming up to bat. At that very moment, Fox commentator Joe Buck alerted us that we were going to hear an earlier-recorded snippet of conversation from a mic’d-up Royce Clayton, a second-string shortstop for the BoSox. For the benefit of the non-baseball fans among you: That’d be like “60 Minutes” interrupting an interview with Osama Bin Laden to cover a cat stuck in a tree.

“Hey, you like Taco Bell?,” Clayton asked Red Sox rookie Jacoby Ellsbury, who looked about as engaged as a 4-year-old in church. Clayton proceeded to explain that Taco Bell would give free tacos “to every person in the country” if a player on either team stole a base that night. “America’s depending on you,” he informed his young teammate.

Cut back to Buck, narrating a clip of Ellsbury stealing a base earlier in the game. Buck, one of the most respected commentators in sports, then informed the audience that the free tacos would be available next Tuesday between 2 and 5.

Say it ain’t so, Joe.

And tell us you’re not going to play along any further than that.

But he does. Matt Holliday, the Rockies’ best hitter, rips a single to set up a possible rally for the Rocks. Now Buck segues us to in-the-stands commentator Chris Myers, who’s sitting with Taco Bell chief operating officer Rob Savage. Myers articulates THE question on the minds of baseball fans at that moment: How can Taco Bell afford to give everyone in America a taco, when that has to cost millions?

“It’s all for our customers,” for whom every taco will be “made fresh for you,” Savage somberly replies.

Myers then presents Savage with a takeout container of (presumably New England) chowder inside a Taco Bell bag, and scars young baseball fans forever by closing with, “We’re thinking outside the bun.”

Buck, having found his conscience again, offers an obviously sarcastic, “Chris, great work.” At which point booth mate Tim McCarver burst out laughing. “From Schilling to shilling,” he quips, and both broadcasters resume calling a game then being pitched by Red Sox legend Curt Schilling.

It’s essential that restaurant marketers find new ways of reaching an audience that’s drifting away from traditional media. But the goal is to engage that hipper, more irreverent crowd, not to alienate it with a heavy-handed plug of that sort. Even co-conspirators like Buck and Myers seemed embarrassed to be associated with something that clunky. Used-car salesmen were probably cringing.

On Thursday afternoon, Applebee’s announced that it had chosen an apple as its new pitchwoman. A few hours later, Taco Bell and Fox reached for a lemon.